Sunday, April 29, 2012

Why I like the song Monster, by Skillet

 One of my favorite songs is written in the point of view of someone who feels like a monster (this is how I interpret it) because they are told to be kind and forgiving and respectful and all, yet sadly that person has just been shoving their anger and stress further and further down into their very soul, until one day it breaks, and all that anger, that wrath, that pain, it becomes a monster. And the person can’t help but lash out at everyone they see. Here are the lyrics.

This secret side of Me
I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can’t control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can’t hold it

It’s scratching on the walls, in the closet in the halls
It comes awake and I can’t control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won’t somebody come and save me from this make it end?

I feel it deep within, its just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I’ve become, the nightmare’s just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

My secret side I keep it under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can’t control it
‘cause if I let him out, he’ll tear me up break me down
Why won’t somebody come and save me from the make it end?


It’s hiding in the dark , it’s teeth are razor sharp, there’s no escape for me, it wants my soul it wants my heart
No one can hear me scream , maybe it’s just a dream
Maybe it’s inside of me, stop this monster

{chorus x 2}

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster,
I, I feel like a monster

This song seems almost like it’s writer knows me inside and out because it describes exactly how I feel. Like a monster, I can’t control my own actions, I am supposed to be kind and loving, I am supposed to be forgiving and humble, yet this a thing we all have experienced known as peer pressure is not as hard to avoids as one might think, it's making me want to hold a grudge, letting me want to be angry  I feel scared, and lost, yet the monster is making me even more scared as it pounds it’s way into my life and out of it’s cage.

An Introduction to Me

Unlike the grassy meadow in the background of this blog, life is a rocky road, and no, I do not mean the ice cream. We are often faced with trials that we cannot even ourselves imagine. Many hear of the Trials of which they are told and think to themselves, "wow, I hope that never happens to me" but little do they know, they too will eventually face their own trials. I myself have faced some, even at my age. When I was little, I was fortunate enough to have been raised in the church, and still am being raised within a Christian home. Yet, As I grew older, the sins became more damaging, the world was beginning to open up it's tendrils of darkness and reach for me. As time went by, things got worse. I had prayed the sinners prayer when I was 8, though I did so without fully understanding the love of Christ. Everything carried on the same, at least, it did, until the end of 5th grade, when my best friend and I decided upon different middle schools. I have spoken to her only twice since. And I still weep when I remember the joy that she set upon my heart. Year before last I realized how much I truly needed God, and how little I had been doing for Him. Knowing we were placed here to please God, and not ourselves, I began turning my life around.  
I began talking about God at school, and it wasn't long before most of the few friends I had, told me to stop the God talk, or they would stop hanging out with me. Next year, I came to school with only one friend still remaining. Yes, I met more, four new kids became fast friends with me, and it was not long before I discovered that three of them were my sisters in Christ. Ever since, every day I have been trying to convey God's message as much as I can to my school, and I must admit, I'm pretty scared at the moment. I have received two letters in my locker, whether placed there for a purpose or for a dare, both were anti-Christianity. One contained a universal do-not sign holding a cross, you know kind of like those non smoking signs you see, or the do not enter signs. the other, in plain print read, "I'm God, Destroy Yourself " Yet, neither of these notes are what worry me. What worries me is that some friends of mine have found themselves enthralled by the world and have rejected the good word. Pray for me upon that, both are going through some trials of their own right now. 
Even though I fight the good fight, it feels as if I am alone. I have been called Obsessed, insane, weird, mental, and odd. Yet I bear these name proudly, because I bear them for God. I stand for him, and always will. I don't care how many friends I loose, how many people tease me, or gossip bad things about me behind my back. I don't care how many people will treat me like a joke. Yet I will always take a stand for God, no matter how many "good morning Bible girl"s I hear.

1 Peter 4:14, If you are insulted because of the name of Jesus Christ, you are blessed, for the spirit of Glory and of God rests upon you.